by Alycia W. Morales @AlyciaMorales

As many of you know, my 19-year-old son, Caleb, died this past January. It was sudden and unexpected, and that has entirely affected the months following. Especially my writing.

I pray every November and December and ask God to give me a word for the upcoming year. Sometimes it’s a focus word like trust or joy. Others, it’s a directive word like intentional or, as it was for this year, write. As we entered 2021 and celebrated the New Year, I was excited. I knew it would be an opportunity for me to focus on my writing. And at the time, I thought that meant my young adult fantasy novel.

Until January 2, when I got that phone call no parent wants to get. Followed and hour-and-a-half later by the words no parent ever wants to hear. And my son was home with the Lord.

There are many ways to deal with grief. We laugh at the photos and videos as we remember the good times with our loved ones. We cry buckets of tears that the Lord keeps in a bottle, a sort of memorial, I guess. We talk. We hug. We hide away from it all in an attempt to find rest. We yell. We ask questions. We do all the things.

Guess what the one thing is that has helped me process? Writing.

I find myself continually amazed at how God works. How He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Things as simple as a word for the year.

A few years ago, I went through a season where people would come up to me and ask me, “Have you written the book yet?” One simple question. Strangers. People I know. Didn’t matter. I was asked that question at least a handful of times throughout that season.

At the time, I thought “the book” was my YA Fantasy. That story has been rolling around in my mind for many years now. I’ve fleshed some of it out. And I started working on it then.

When I began fleshing out my grief this year, I decided to share about it on Facebook. And recently, Instagram.

One of my favorite verses is Revelation 12:11. “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.”

The word of their testimony. Our testimony has great power when it’s combined with the blood of the Lamb, our Savior. When we mix our testimony with His testimony, things happen. Lives are touched. Healing occurs. And people experience the love of God in ways we can only imagine.

All it takes is obedience and transparency. Our willingness to use our words for God’s glory and allow Him to move through them.

So, write I have done. And here’s what I’ve discovered in the past seven months:

1. My testimony is “the book.” 

That became very evident this year, as I looked back and recognized what God had been saying all along. Sometimes He uses others and what they say to you as a prompt to write something in particular. Things like, “You should write…” and “That would make a great book title!” Be open to hearing from Him not only in prayer, but through those around you. Just remember that His voice will always line up with His word.

2. Sometimes we need others more than we think we do.

As I began pouring out my heart on Facebook, others began commenting. Knowing that others are praying me through this entirely difficult season of my life, as well as the lives of those I love who were also close to Caleb, means the world to me. Losing a child is lonely enough in itself. But knowing I’m not alone (I know God is always with me) and there are others out there who care is a treasure worth far more than gold.

3. Other relate when we are transparent.

Many hide their difficult journeys and manage them privately. For a split second, I considered doing the same. But keeping what God is showing me and doing in my grief journey hidden under a basket isn’t going to minister to others who are going through the same thing or something similar. And so, I share. And the ministering is evidenced by the comments. Please note, it’s not about me. Yes, it happened to me. But it’s about revealing the love and glory of God to others.

4. I find encouragement to do exactly what God told me to back in November of 2020. Write.

Many have left comments on my posts about how beautiful my words are. How they love the way I’ve written through this grief journey. To keep writing. To keep ministering healing to others. And that does my heart so much good in this season. We all need encouragement. To know that we are making a difference in this difficult world. I didn’t start writing the posts to get encouragement for my writing. That was an added bonus that the Lord blessed me with along the way.

5. My heart heals a little more every time I put words on the page.

Yesterday, I wrote in my journal. I had four months of happenings to add to the pages. I’ve had the urge to really cry—ugly cry—for a week, but the tears wouldn’t flow. Until I put pen to paper and poured my heart out on the page. Until I got real with my emotions and God and allowed myself the time to reflect. And it felt so, so good to write and cry. God really touched my heart once again as I shared it with Him.

Grief is a difficult thing to walk through, whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or even something as simple as the disappointment of a rejection letter. Sometimes you need to talk with someone, like a grief counselor. Other times, you simply need to put pen to paper and let it all flow out. I encourage you to write. And be transparent in your writing. Allow God to use the words that may have been pent up inside for years and years. Get them out on that page/screen. And share them with the world. You never know what God has in store and what blessings will come of your obedience to share them.

Alycia W. Morales is an award-winning freelance editor and author. Her clients have won the Selah Award, BRMCWC Director’s Choice Award, and many others. Her writing has been published in Thriving Family magazine, Splickety Love, and several compilation books. She is a member of ACFW, the president of Cross n’ Pens critique group, and a BRMCWC Conference Assistant.

When she isn’t busy writing, editing, and reading, Alycia enjoys spending time with her husband and four children taking hikes in Upstate SC and NC, creating various crafts, coloring in adult coloring books, and watching TV.

Alycia blogs at The Write Editing and Life. Inspired. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.