by Ramona Richards  @RamonaRichards

It’s the one thing that will keep writers up at night, haunted with questions. It’ll make us want to pick apart a scene, even after it’s been submitted and sitting happily on the editor’s desk. It makes us second-guess our wisdom, our knowledge, and our skill.

Word choice.

Why does picking just the right word make us nuts? Because we know exactly how vital wise choices are. It is word choice and syntax that give us our voice, set a book’s tone, enhance the genre, and make us appealing as authors to readers. Not just the stories we tell, but the way we tell them. 

Take for instance, these two opening passages: 

It was a restful night, and, for once, she had slept soundly.

The night was calm, for once free of danger and intrigue, and she awoke rested.

Both describe the same eight-hour passage of time. But they set different tones and expectations for the reader. 

So what can help us with the anxiety? Here are a few tips.

1. Keep your book’s tone and genre in mind and avoid words and phrases that inadvertently trip up the reader.

Every word carries an emotional connotation that you can draw on to drive your purpose. Romance, for instance, allows for longer sentences, softer word endings, adverbs, and more complex syntax. Suspense often calls on shorter, blunt sentences with harsher sounding words to drive the emotion and action.

Take a look at these two moments and watch how the tone changes with just a few shifts in word choice.

As the elevator doors shut, he stepped in closer behind her, his hand resting on her waist. His thumb stroked her side gently, and his breath brushed the hair at the nape of her neck. “You are forever my love,” he whispered. “I will never abandon you again.”

As the elevator doors shut, he stepped close behind her. His hand rested on her waist, his thumb pressing hard into her side. The heat of his breath pushed into the hair at the nape of her neck. “You are forever mine,” he whispered. “I will never leave you alone again.”

One of these is romance. One is decidedly not.

2. Keep your words and syntax focused on the correct element in each scene.

Sometimes we get carried away with the joy of writing, getting lost in descriptions, or wind up centering a scene on a nonessential character. Stay focused, and make your wisest choice to direct the reader exactly where you want them to go.

And less you think this is advice just for fiction authors, take a look at these two passages. 

The spies sought refuge in Rahab’s home, located on the Jericho wall. 

Compare that with

Rahab offered the spies refuge in her home, putting her livelihood—and her family’s lives—as risk. 

One of these Bible study passages is about the spies. One is about Rahab. They deliver two vastly different messages about one moment in Scripture. 

3. Make sure what’s in your head makes it to the page.

This is something I have a hard time with. As writers, we have a fully filled-out picture of our scenes and characters, their actions and attitudes, in our heads. But those descriptions don’t always make it to the page. 

If you’re concerned, query critique partners or beta readers about a variety of scenes in your book. Ask them if they can describe what’s happening. What moods are in your characters in? What are the non-POV characters thinking? It can be eye opening. 

I once had a secondary character that was so likeable that I had to kill him. He was taking all the focus away from my hero. I couldn’t see it, but one of my readers did. And it was all about the words I chose to describe the two men. Another time, I made the villain so charming, I wound up editing the book to make someone else the killer. I could no longer stand to see my charming rogue go to jail for murder. Because of word choices, he had, in fact, because a “charming rogue” instead of a “bloody killer.”

4. Know when to let go.

No, you’re never going to get that scene perfect. Yes, you could tweak the word choices until the day they close the lid on your casket. You will never be quite content with it. 

But you must step back. Even if you’re not content, give the work some room to breathe. And stop asking, “Can I make it better?” The answer to that is ALWAYS going to be “yes.” 

Ask instead, “Is this a good scene? Does it work? Does it drive the action forward?” If the answer to these questions is yes, then move on and stop picking at it. 

Word choice is important, but so is finishing that book and submitting it. Stop second-guessing yourself and trust your voice. Because you have a lot more stories to tell. 

Ramona Richards is the author of 11 books and is the associate publisher for Iron Stream Media, the parent company of New Hope Publishers, Iron Stream Kidz, and Ascender Books. She recently received the Joann Sloan National Award for the Encouragement of Writing, a mentoring, editing, and coaching award. She speaks frequently for women’s and writers’ groups, and has presented at numerous conferences across the country. Her latest book, Murder in the Family, is available now at https://shoplpc.com/murder-in-the-family/

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