by Deena Adams @Deenamadams
If you’re breathing, you’ve been criticized at some point in your life. Aristotle said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” I believe that’s true.
We all have varied opinions on a multitude of subjects, especially politics and religion, which can bring on criticism quicker than anything. When we share our opinions, thoughts, or ideas on just about any topic, we should expect to receive criticism of some kind.
So, how should we handle it? I have three pieces of advice.
Don’t run from criticism.
According to God’s Word, criticism is a gift.
If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. Proverbs 15:31
To one who listens, valid criticism is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry. Proverbs 25:12
If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored. Proverbs 13:18
Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery. Proverbs 29:1
We should never get to the place in life where we stop learning and think no one can point out any wrongs in us.
Acknowledge pride.
When we’re unable to accept constructive criticism, we’re consumed with pride. We must dig out that sin at the root, confess it to God, and repent. Humility allows us to learn and grow through the criticism of others. We become better people when we can admit we’re wrong, that we could have acted in a godlier way, or we have room to improve.
Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:12
Not all criticism should be taken to heart.
Others can be mistaken when they give advice, so we need discernment to decide which criticism we accept. I adopted the philosophy a long time ago to take others’ criticism to the Lord and ask Him to show me what, if anything, is true, to help me change what I need to, and throw away anything that isn’t true or helpful.
As a writer, I’ve learned very quickly how important these concepts are. I joined an online critique group in February 2019 and, just as its name suggests, I receive “criticism” on my chapter submissions. I’ve had to grow a thick skin over the last year and a half.
I admit that when a harsh critique comes my way my gut reaction is hurt, but when I work through it by acknowledging my pride and asking God to show me what is true, I become a better writer. In fact, I’ve come to deeply appreciate the especially harsh critiques I receive because I know they’re exactly what I need to grow and change. After all, that’s the reason I joined the group.
The rules of the critique group include starting and ending with a positive comment. This is a good rule of thumb in every area of life when we have to confront someone with any type of criticism. Many times, it’s not what we say but how we say it. We can learn to dish out constructive criticism in a way it will be well received, and we can learn to graciously receive the criticism given from a loving heart that desires God’s best for us.
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Proverbs 27:6
Join the conversation. Have you been criticized for something you’ve said, done, or written recently? How did it make you feel? Did you accept the criticism and use it to grow and become better?
Deena incorporates her vast array of experience as a thirty-year Christ follower, a Navy/pastor’s wife, and a court-appointed special advocate volunteer into hope-filled stories.
Her mission to etch hope on broken hearts shines through in her fiction writing, and on her blog, The Advocate’s Pen. Deena is an active member of ACFW and several writer groups, board member of ACFW Virginia, and a multi award-winning writer.
She and her husband live in beautiful Virginia. When she’s not writing, reading, or serving in her church, you’ll find her hanging out with family and friends and doting on her six grandchildren.
Connect with Deena on her blog, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Goodreads.
The Conversation
Thanks for sharing my post. I pray others will be encouraged and remember to look to God when criticized.
That’s the first thing I learned when I started writing. But then, it wasn’t so hard for me. I KNEW I didn’t know anything but good dialogue. I was already a published playwright. But novels? I knew nothing. So I was open to learning. I soaked it up like a dry sponge (as tired as that simile is).
As a new writer, I’m well aware I don’t know anything either! But as a person who struggles with low self-esteem, the harsh critique I received the first time I submitted to a critique group made me wonder if I should be pursuing writing at all. I’m thankful God has kept me going in spite of my constant need to grow and learn how to write effectively. And let me know very quickly that the harshest critiques were the best ones because they make me strive to learn more and become a better writer! Thanks for your comments!
Good devotional article. Thank you. Do you have more? I am looking to share these kinds of things with our word Weaver’s writer’s group
Hi Rodney. I’m so sorry I never responded. I didn’t see your comment until I randomly revisited this post tonight. I have a few devotional posts but not a lot. If you’re still interested you can reach out to me via the contact page on my website. DeenaAdams.com.
Great post and much needed wisdom, thank you so much. I recently submitted to a christian political forum page and received some sharp criticism, it was then I knew that I had made a mistake in joining a political forum. It was not what God wanted me to write, I withdrew my post and sought God’s forgiveness. I am back on track now though, Praise God.
I’m sorry I never replied. I didn’t see your comment until I randomly revisited this post tonight. I’m glad the post was encouraging to you!
Thank you for this reminder. I learned to write through critiques and evaluation of my work. The first few criticisms hurt, but soon I realized their value. We learn and grow from one another.
Thanks for your comments. I agree! So much value in others’ input. I’m learning all the time and I love it.