By Holland Webb @WebbHollandLyle

Flannery O’Connor, one of the 20th century’s great fiction writers, said she wasn’t afraid her books would generate controversy. On the contrary, she was afraid they wouldn’t be controversial enough. In that regard, O’Connor had nothing to worry about. Her works embarrassed her mother, shocked her publishers, and — of course — got her canceled by a university just recently.

And here I am worried that nobody will like what I write. Or that no one will publish it. Or that if they do, someone will leave a snide comment on Twitter. I just want to have a career, not cause a controversy.

That, of course, is my problem. As O’Connor herself put it in her work The Nature and Aim of Fiction: “I know well enough that very few people who are supposedly interested in writing are interested in writing well. They are interested in publishing something, and if possible in making a “killing.” They are interested in being a writer, not in writing. They are interested in seeing their names at the top of something printed, it matters not what.” 

Interested in being a writer, not in writing. 

I grew up in shoutin’ fundamentalist circles, and when the preacher said something that hit home like that, you were supposed to call out either “Amen” or “Ouch.” 

Because you see — and this is just between you and me, don’t tell anyone else — I really want to be a writer. Sometimes, I want to be a writer more than I want to write anything.  I want to see my name on the spine of a book. I want to publish something. Sometimes, I don’t even care what it is. 

Now, that’s not all bad. Plenty of us have ideas, projects, and even complete manuscripts that need to be tossed in a round file to make room for something that a publisher will buy and distribute. Being flexible about your goals and your projects is key to growing as a writer. 

For many of us, part of growing as a writer is earning a level of financial success. Nothing tops the feeling of getting a check in the mail along with a contract from a publisher for something you’ve written.

I remember the first time it happened to me. Coincidentally, I was attending BRMCWC for the first time. Since I live relatively nearby, I drove home each night. On Wednesday evening, after I pulled into my driveway, I checked the mail. A big manila envelope from a youth devotional publisher awaited me. Inside were two contracts and a big ol’ check (okay, it wasn’t that big). I was so thrilled I pretty much flew up to North Carolina the next day. Someone had bought my work!

Just because a product is commercially successful, though, doesn’t mean it’s great art or that it glorifies the Lord. Fifty Shades of Grey, a salacious novel as recognizable for its bad writing as for its bad morals, has sold more than 15 million copies, and the entire series has sold over 150 million. It’s terrible art, but it’s also among the most commercially successful pieces of all time.

No matter how badly I might want to see my name on the spine of a novel (and perhaps, to make a killing) it surely isn’t worth sinking as low as Grey. And yet …

Am I willing to write one competently composed piece after another — none of which I care about — in order to achieve that dream? Are you?

I don’t think everything you or I write has to advance a single vision. One author can produce a wide variety of works in several categories. I do, however, think each work needs a driving vision, one that’s not bound to my ego or my bank account but instead is bound to God’s mission on earth.

That might mean generating more controversy than I feel comfortable with. Or it might mean lying low and practicing my craft longer than I want to. Maybe it will mean writing something that would embarrass my mother (I rather hope so!). I don’t know for sure. I do know that it won’t just mean caressing a book with my name printed on the spine. That’s not a big enough vision. 

As O’Connor wrote at the end of her essay, “Fiction is about everything human and we are made out of dust, and if you scorn getting yourself dusty, then you shouldn’t try to write fiction. It’s not grand enough a job for you.”

Is writing a grand enough job for you?

Holland Webb is a full-time freelance writer and editor whose clients have included High Bridge Books & Media, Sweet Fish Media, Compose.ly, and RedVentures, and his articles have appeared in Focus on the Family, Influencive, Devozine, and Keys for Kids. With his friend Carlton Hughes, Holland co-authored Adventures in Fatherhood: A Devotional. Almost 20 years ago, Holland adopted two boys, both now grown, and he recently married for the first time at age 45.