By James Hannibal @jamesrhannibal

Have you ever painted a room? I try to avoid it, but with the many moves of military life I haven’t been too successful. With tape applied and tarps laid out, Cindy and I put on a first coat. It never looks all that great, but we don’t expect it to. Then comes the second coat, and maybe a third, depending on color. We might finish with an adornment like a stripe or a stencil. And hey, it usually looks pretty good. But are we finished?

Are you getting the picture? Coats equal drafts. The stripe or stencils are your imagery and characterization. We’ve done all that, but we’re not finished, because we haven’t peeled off the tape to reveal those hidden bleed marks and mistakes. We haven’t done the touch-ups.

In this article, I’ll give you methods for peeling away the tape and inspecting your work. We’ll hit four big steps this time and six smaller steps in Part Two. Please note, touching up is not a one-day job. Depending on your writing schedule, these steps might take a week or a month.

1. The Fix-It Board

This first step requires action during your drafts. If you haven’t made a fix-it board for the novel you just finished, do it next time. 

My fix-it board is the smaller of the two big whiteboards on my office wall. As I write, issues pop up that don’t require immediate attention. Fixing them in the moment disrupts my flow. Instead, I jot them down as check-box items on my board. 

Significant story issues get fixed in the next draft and erased from the board. Small items like “Did Clara visit the cemetery on Sunday or Monday?” wait for the touch up. And by the time I get to the touch-up phase, the board is full. I attack them one by one. This process takes one to two nine-to-five writing days.

2. Word Counter – Percentages

Word counter tools peel back the painter’s tape, illuminating hidden blemishes. Google “word counter” and see what comes up. I use one called Text Fixer. I also use the Find and Replace function of Word, which gives me an immediate count and contextual overview of whatever phrase I type into the Find box.

Text Fixer gives me a percentage overview that tells me what percentage of my words are “primary” and what percentage are “common.” Primary words are the flesh and organs of my writing. Common words (pronouns, articles, conjunctions, etc.) are the skeleton. The split will be close to even, but your flesh and organs should always outweigh your skeleton. Look for 55-60% primary words and 40-45% common. This blog post, for instance, is 55/45. Reverse this and you’ve got a wordiness problem. The next few steps will help.

3. Word Counter – Passive Voice

A word counter reveals passive voice like nothing else. If you wrote the story in past tense, look how often you used was, were, and been. There are others, but these are the usual culprits. Add up your count of all three and divide by your page count. 

Example: If I used 200 was, 200 were, and 200 been, my total would be 600. I divide this by my 300 pages, and get 2. I’ve use these forms of passive voice twice per page on average. That’s pretty good. 

Passive voice is not forbidden, but it must be intentional. A passive voice ratio close to nil makes your narrative rhythm wooden. You need some syncopation. If your ratio is 5 or higher, you’re leaning on passive too much. I’d rather see 1.5 to 2.5. If you write in present tense, you’ll get double the ratio, because we use is, are, and be in dialogue. 

Use your word processor’s Find/Search function to locate every instance of each word. Since Find/Search functions usually highlight the word your looking for, this also gives you a great (and sometimes startling) visual representation of how frequently you use each word. Assess each instance and re-write to improve efficiency.

4. Word Counter – Clutter Words

Look through your word counter and find the clutter words: there, that, this, and again. Also, add up all your -ly adverbs. Divide your individual count of each clutter word by your page count and your total -ly adverb count by your page count. If your ratio is greater than 1 for any of these, you might have another wordiness problem. 

As before, use the Find/Search function to locate and assess each instance. Note the visual representation of how often you use each word. Re-write to improve efficiency. 

Remember, like passive voice, not all clutter words are forbidden—not even adverbs. You must assess each instance to see if it serves your story’s voice. “That” has many uses. In some places, it’s essential. In others, it’s optional or downright wasteful. Does it make your sentence more clear? Does it fit the character’s voice? Consider the following examples.

1. “He told us that he’d be on time.” – Throw away “that” and get the more efficient “He told us he’d be on time.”
2. “Don’t ever use that tone with me again.” – In this case, “that” is essential. “Again” is optional depending on context and voice.
3. “I’m pleased to inform you that you’ve won.” – This could go either way. Is “that” essential? Try “I’m pleased to inform you you’ve won.” Meh. The second version gets the point across, but it sounds a little awkward. “That” serves the sentence (in my view).

I hope you get the assessment picture. Look at each clutter word in terms of how it serves your story and the narrative’s efficiency rather than by any strict rule.

These four steps will give you a great start at touching up your novel. Next time we’ll look at the other six: removing clutter phrases, changing repetitive primary words, assessing sensory performance, focusing settings, sharpening character voices, and the final read through. Until then, may God be glorified by your work.

As a former stealth pilot, James R. Hannibal is no stranger to secrets and adventure. He has been shot at, locked up with surface to air missiles, and chased down a winding German road by an armed terrorist. He is a two-time Silver Falchion award-winner for his Section 13 mysteries for kids, a Thriller Award nominee for his Nick Baron covert ops series for adults, and a Selah Award finalist for his Christian CIA thriller, the Grypyhon Heist. James is a rare multi-sense synesthete. Want to know more? Visit JamesRHannibal.com.