By James Hannibal @jamesrhannibal
Here we stand on our drop cloth, brushes ready, half-way through the process of touching up your manuscript the way we might touch up a room after painting. Last month, we looked at the first four steps. This month we finish with six more, starting with Step 5. As a reminder, touching up is not a one-day job. Depending on your writing schedule, the ten steps together might take a week or a month.
5. Word Counter – Clutter Phrases
The word counter tools mentioned in Part One help you find the paint drips and smudges in your manuscript. Previously, I showed you how to use a word counter to fix passive voice, clutter words, and more. Now, let’s take a look at clutter phrases.
Not all word counters look for phrases. The WriteWords phrase counter does, but it can’t handle a full novel all at once. As an alternative, the Find and Replace function of any word processing software works nearly as well.
Clutter phrases are the common phrases that sneak into our writing to gum it up. Some are easy to fix, like phrases with an extraneous of. Find all of and off of in your manuscript and replace them with all and off.
Other clutter phrases require more thought. Since I mentioned of phrases, of the comes to mind. Check all your instances and see if a different phrasing might serve your reader better.
- “Carrie met Jim on the bank of the river.” – Perhaps Carrie might save time (and words) if she met him on the riverbank instead.
- “Michael didn’t recognize any of the other diners.” – Here, author intent determines whether of the stays or goes. This phrasing may be essential to the paragraph. Or perhaps Michael should lean close to a companion and whisper, “Who are all these people?”
You get the idea. Google clutter phrases, and you’ll find many lists. Search your word counter for those you recognize from your own writing. Think critically about each instance and look for opportunities to make your phrasing more efficient.
6. Word Counter – Repetitive Primary Words
As a reminder, primary words put organs and flesh onto the skeleton built by your common words. Primary words become clutter when overused. Check your word counter. What are your most often-used primary words?
My most common primary words are character names. Good. But what about heard, first, looked, eyes, away, back, dragon. Am I overusing these?
To check, use the same instance-to-page ratio technique used in Steps 3 and 4. If I average more than one use per page of any primary word other than character names, I make changes.
7. Word Counter – Sensory Performance
Are you keeping your reader’s senses engaged? Sure, the cabin is dark with a serial killer hiding in the closet, but how does it smell? Is it cold inside with a layer of frost on the windowsill?
Search your word counter list for verbs, nouns, and adjectives relating to each sense. How often do you take your reader beyond the hero’s eyes to her nose, ears, or fingertips?
I have no set rule for a manuscript’s volume of sensory engagement, but I usually find I need more.
8. Sharpen Your Settings
Write down a page number for each time your story changes settings. Now, go through your list and apply the following touch-ups.
- Are you opening your scene changes with rote description? Look for ways to integrate the imagery and feel of the scene into the action and dialogue.
- How does your setting relate to the mood? Is your hero experiencing tragedy on a sunny beach? Was irony your intent? Perhaps the scene takes place in an office—bland by nature. If bad things are happening, add clutter. If the scene is joyful, bring sunlight in through the window.
- How does your setting convey your message? Your hero chose an ally he knows is bad for him and attends a dinner at this person’s home. Are you making your reader comfortable with a warm fire and tasty filets? Was that your plan, or should you heighten the discomfort with abstract paintings hinting at death or with too much salt on the potatoes. It’s up to you, but make sure to build your settings with intent.
9. Check Your Character Voices
Scan each chapter for your hero’s thoughts or dialogue. Are they consistent? Is the voice unique to the character? Now do this again for all the other primary and secondary characters.
There are many blogs and books about character voices. This touch-up is your last look to make sure you’ve applied these lessons consistently.
10. The Final Read-Through (with a twist)
The last touch-up step is an audible read-through. You’ve seen your own words a thousand times. Now listen to them. Listen, don’t read. Reading out loud to yourself takes up too much of your brain for effective analysis.
I use the text-to-speech app Voice Dream. Google Chrome’s Read Aloud webpage reader plugin will also read a pdf for you. A dedicated spouse or very good friend is even better, because a live person will stumble over words and phrases. Anything that trips your aural reader’s tongue will likely trip your future readers’ minds. Buy your aural reader coffee or make a him/her a special dinner.
By listening to your manuscript, you’ll hear phrases that don’t work. You’ll hear sentences that mean something other than you intended. You’ll hear wordiness the other steps didn’t catch. The list goes on. Make notes as your reader reads. Pause when necessary. Then go back and make changes to your manuscript.
Congratulations! You completed ten touch-up steps that are sure to improve your manuscript. Is it ready for submission? Is our painted room ready for an occupant to move in? I wish I could tell you, but on that point, you’ll have to be the final judge. Happy writing!
Check Out Part One : Ten Tips for Touching up your Novel – Part One
As a former stealth pilot, James R. Hannibal is no stranger to secrets and adventure. He has been shot at, locked up with surface to air missiles, and chased down a winding German road by an armed terrorist. He is a two-time Silver Falchion award-winner for his Section 13 mysteries for kids, a Thriller Award nominee for his Nick Baron covert ops series for adults, and a Selah Award finalist for his Christian CIA thriller, the Grypyhon Heist. James is a rare multi-sense synesthete. Want to know more? Visit JamesRHannibal.com.
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