by Josie Siler  @josie_siler

For many of us, the recent Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference was a mountaintop experience. It was for me. I was one of the Zoomies, the group of conferees who attended virtually and connected during the breaks over Zoom. We had such a blast getting to know each other and participating online.

We shared photos of us dressed up at home for genre night and the awards. We celebrated big after all of the wins our group experienced on awards night. Even though we were apart physically, we were together virtually and felt part of the larger group of in person attendees. 

It was a mountaintop week for me personally, but it was also a week in the valley. On Tuesday my family got the call that my grandma had stopped eating and drinking. The assisted living place she was in had been under quarantine off and on for this past year. Even when we were allowed to visit, masks and a plastic divider separated us. It was a cruel year for the sweetest grandma who didn’t understand why we couldn’t come in her room or touch her. Like many other elderly folks, she was dying of loneliness. 

Hospice was called in and my family was able to visit her room in her last days. But not me. I have my own health issues and with two confirmed cases of Covid in the building I couldn’t go in. I mourned at home while my family spent last days with Grandma, giving her a years worth of physical touch and love in a few sad days. She was at peace and soaked up all their love. 

I prayed, cuddled our puppy, and attended BRMCWC virtually. I Zoomed with my fellow Zoomies and friendships were deepened when some heard of my pain and surrounded me in prayer, constantly checking on me and encouraging me to come Zoom with them even if I had to have my camera off because my eyes kept leaking. 

Wednesday night I won an award for my picture book and essay. My family was back from sitting with Grandma for the day and were there to celebrate with me. Great joy filled my heart along with deep pain. 

I was tempted to skip celebrating all together. After all, what’s an award or two compared to the life of my precious grandma? But then God reminded me of words that were spoken during the conference. Words about how writing is not just a calling, but a mission field. Faculty spoke of the importance of what we do, not just for ourselves, but for those who will read our words. This is no small thing. 

I chose to celebrate. I knew Grandma would be so proud of me. She was my biggest cheerleader in everything I did. So after celebrating with my family, I jumped on the group Zoom and celebrated with friends, many who had won awards too. It was beautiful and I thanked God for His gift of encouragement when my heart needed something happy. 

On Saturday I got a phone call with good news. Really good news! I was offered a scholarship for something that’s going to be huge for my writing career. I couldn’t keep the tears of gratitude from flowing. Gratitude that someone saw me and thought I was worthy of this incredible gift. It was as if God said, “I see you. What you’re doing is important. Don’t stop now. Don’t give up. This is what I want you to be doing.” I was again on the mountaintop, praising God for what He had done. 

Sunday morning I woke up to the news that my grandma had passed into the arms of Jesus that morning. Again, my mountaintop was colliding with a deep valley. I’m feeling all the feels and deep emotions tug at my heart. Feelings of relief, pain, sadness, and joy vie for first place. 

So what do writers do when our mountaintop and valley collide? We choose to live. We allow ourselves to feel the emotions God gives us to help us process life. We keep our eyes on Him. We praise Him for the good and praise Him in the hard. We look to Him for comfort, peace, hope, and community. We ask others for prayer and we rejoice and mourn together. And we write. We express our deep emotions through the written word with the hope that our words will encourage others and help them through their pain too. 

There is freedom in Jesus Christ and because of Him, we can have joy for the journey. Even when the journey is unbearable, we can experience joy in Jesus. Below are a few verses that have brought me great comfort and joy over the years. I pray they bless you too. 

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” ~Romans 12:12, NIV

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” ~Romans 12:15, NIV

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, ESV

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, NIV

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:4-7, NLT

Josie Siler is a small-town Wisconsin girl with big dreams. She has won multiple awards for both writing and photography. Josie’s passionate about helping people find joy for their journey. She shares God’s gifts of beauty, hope, and adventure with people who are overwhelmed by life’s circumstances and encourages them to walk in the freedom found in Jesus. When she’s not writing or taking pictures, you’ll find Josie curled up with a good book, eating chocolate, and cuddling her teddy bear dog Ruby Mae (a.k.a. The Scruffy Princess). You can check out her website here.