By Penny Reeve

I wonder what your pet peeve, throw away comments are from people who hear you are a writer? Could it be one of these?

• “How much money do you make?”
• “I bet it’s fun to stay at home all day in your pyjamas.”
• “I’ve got an idea for your next book!” (insert detailed description of book and genre you have never wanted to write)
• “I don’t read… But, hey! Has your book been made into a movie?”

For me, as a children’s writer, the one I often get is “When are you going to write a real book?” Oh, that comment stops me in my tracks every time!

But facing peevish comments like these are part of learning how to be a ‘writer’. Yes, tey may frustrate us. We may feel belittled, misunderstood, misjudged and even plain angry.

As a writer of real books who only occasionally writes in her pyjamas, I’d like to offer three strategies to help deflect the angst and keep you writing. No matter what silly comments are thrown your way.

Strategy 1: Don’t take silly comments to heart.

Just because someone doesn’t understand what you do, doesn’t mean your work is invaluable. Stay strong, seek constructive feedback from people who understand your genre and keep writing.

Strategy 2: Choose your battles.

Sometimes, and it very much depends on who’s speaking, it might be worth refuting the unspoken assumptions.

I like to take on the “When are you going to write a real book?” comment with a gentle nudge to see what the speaker really means. I rarely take it further than that, however, because someone who doesn’t think a children’s book is a real book, is probably not likely to listen to my justification anyway. And I don’t take that personally. (I love how C.S.Lewis explains writing for children: “because a children’s story is the best art-form for something you have to say” *).

Strategy 3: Stay kind.

Peevish comments are often based on people’s genuine lack of understanding about what it takes to be a writer, children’s books or otherwise. Keeping our heart guarded from taking offense allows us to meet people where they are. And, many times, these types of phrases are even well meaning. Take the following examples, giving the speaker the benefit of the doubt:

• “How much money do you make?” Could translate to, “I hope you are doing well”.
• “I bet it’s fun to stay at home all day in your pyjamas.” Could be, “I imagine you have a great life and I’d really like a life like that too.”
• “I’ve got an idea for your next book!” Really means, “I think you are SO talented!”
• “I don’t read… But, hey! Has your book been made into a movie?” Could also mean, “Uh… I don’t get that reading thing, but I’d love to support your creative ideas, and I love movies, so maybe f you had a movie made I could be a supportive friend without reading. What do you say?”

But what about my pet peeve? “When are you going to write a real book?” Well, even trying my hardest to give that one a positive spin, they’re probably saying, ‘I don’t think kids books are real books.’ Which leaves me with Lewis and my angst. So, I think I’d better review my 3 strategies, take the speaker out for lunch and read them a story. A kidsstory, one that’ll change the way they see the world!

What about you? What frustrating comments have you received? And how have you faced them with kindness and grace?

*C.S. Lewis quote from Lewis CS and Hooper W (1975) Of other worlds: essays and stories, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, page 23.

Penny Reeve (also writing as Penny Jaye) is the award winning, Australian author of more than 25 books for children. ​She writes picture books, junior fiction, children’s Bible studies and young adult fiction. She’s an experienced writing workshop leader, conference presenter and writing coach with a particular interest in equipping Christian children’s writers. Her most recent books are a series of collaboratively written, self-published children’s fiction called the Pet Sitters (available as ebook, audio and print too). You can learn more about Penny at www.pennyreeve.com and www.pennyjaye.com