by Blythe Daniel @BlytheDaniel

How many times have you thought, “I can’t write that book. That’s for someone else to write.” But deep down, you and I know that the best books often come out of a person’s pain. Fiction and non-fiction books can produce a well of emotions that the reader can identify with. And we wouldn’t have perspective if we didn’t have the pain from which to share it.

What do you think of when you think about trying to write from your pain? For me, journaling has been how I have processed pain at different times in my adult life. I do it with my Bible open to guide me in my thoughts and what scripture says about whatever I am feeling. The Bible shows me others who have experienced God in pain, uncertainty, overwhelming emotions, and more.

Recently, we lost our very loved dog and it was one of the hardest, if not hardest, pains I’ve experienced. I’m still experiencing the sadness and grief of losing a family member. What can be even harder is ushering in other family members through their grief, such as children. We don’t want our younger family members to feel the pain that we feel as adults.

For me, the grief process has felt like talking about our dog and remembering how God cares for us and him. And that God is good and faithful and He will give us grace and breath for every hour, every minute.

When you are ready, I think it’s time to start journaling what you would want others to know from what you have learned. Reflecting on some quiet time with God, His Word, and His words to you that you can share as an instrument of healing to others.

After you begin journaling, notice what the theme is. God may give you a few words or a phrase that you see in scripture or that you see that really isn’t explored in other books. What is the consistency of the phrase and what does it mean for you? How does this encourage you? Is it just for you or is it for others too?

We have to be careful that we don’t take all of our pain and expect others to get it or want to read about all of our story. But what segment, piece, or clip can be used to engage with others (not just talk to them in a book but really engage them with questions and thoughts that they can relate to). Many writings that end up in a book are the author processing their pain but don’t have much application to the reader.

And this is what we want to lean into. What can you invite the reader into, what can you ask them to explore in their own heart out of what you’ve explored in yours? Not just rehashing what you felt and experienced but what can you draw out of the pain? What can you usher the reader into in their journey?

I wasn’t planning on writing a children’s book. But just two days after we lost our dog, I felt God drop a nugget that became a working title that drove me to some Bible reading and study on the topic. I wanted to make sure that what I was writing had the Bible to back it up.

As I start this process, I know that I couldn’t have written from a genuine place if I hadn’t experienced the pain I’ve experienced. The hunger and need of readers is mostly only seen by those who have or are experiencing it themselves.

What can you do today to start your journaling process with God? Do you just need the encouragement to do it and not fear that it will make you sad? I’m here to encourage you to go for it. I think I can speak for many of us that it actually can be quite helpful to write when you are in pain. You can see where God is and has been loving you, responding to you, and showing you His goodness even when you don’t feel good inside.

I often think about the sadness and sorrow that Jesus must have felt as he knew that He would be betrayed, He knew that He was sent to earth to save others and that meant losing His own life. Since He went through all that He went through and he ministered to people all the way through his betrayal, suffering, and pain, we can have hope that our pain will be used to help further someone else’s story along, just as Jesus has redeemed our story.

Where will you allow your pain to take you and how will you see others differently because of the pain you have walked through? What is a life-giving goal that you can have with your words? I hope you’ll lean in and start writing from this place that can be a powerful motivator for you and your future readers.

Blythe Daniel is an author, literary agent and publicist. She started her agency in 2005, helping authors write and market their books. She has co-authored 4 books, including: Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters and I Love You, Mom! with her mother, Dr. Helen McIntosh, and I Love You, Dad! (also co-authored by her mom and Blythe’s son William). Blythe co-authored Let’s Be Friends: A Tween Devotional on Finding and Keeping Strong Friendships with her daughter Calyn. Blythe loves words, enjoys investing in relationships, and she likes to write about ways to bring help and hope to individuals.

www.connectingheartsandconversations.com and www.theblythedanielagency.com