by Ane Mulligan  @AneMulligan

I’m in edit mode, so all things edit are on my mind. Sometimes, I want to tear my hair out over telling versus showing. I’ve worked hard to show and not tell … and yet little things slip in unnoticed. Take the work “look.” It’s a perfectly good word, but it’s a telling word and frowned upon by editors and critique partners.

The problem comes with the alternatives. How many times can one say, “She cast her gaze” or “He let his gaze circumvent the room?” Certainly, they can glance at someone, but readers surely must notice this. How much simpler to say, “He looked between them.”

However, here is the problem with using “look.” Even that would become tediously repetitive. I once made a list of alternatives to “look.” The problem is if we use them for our POV character, they become telling words.

Better to simply let the reader see what our POV character sees. If you are in Edith’s point of view, then we know she saw whatever happens.

Jim stood and walked to the fireplace and leaned his arm on the mantle.

If the action is caught out of the corner of her eye, you could say:

Jim appeared in the doorway, pausing before he entered. Why did he pause? Edith turned. His gaze was fixed on the front door. 

During my first draft, I will use telling words, just to get the story down. Then in my second draft, I weed them out. Along with my weasel words.

A weasel word I consciously avoid is “that.” However, in a recent edit with my publisher, I was horrified how many times it showed up. I used it more in dialogue than exposition, and usually in response to something another character said. Those are difficult to do away with and take some creative rewording.

Nobody ever said this gig is easy, and I love how an editor’s letter and comments make me work harder to bring my story up a notch. We should always strive for better.

When you get a critique or edits whether from a contest judge., a critique partner or an editor, I suggest you read it, then put it aside for a little while. Then, remembering they are there to help you, get to work with an open mind.

My editor graciously reminds me if one of her suggestions changes my voice, then ignore it. I’ve found if something stops my editor, it will stop a reader, so I’ll try to find another way to write it.

So, what are your weasel words? Join the conversation.

Ane Mulligan lives life from a director’s chair, both in theatre and at her desk, creating novels. Entranced with story by age three, at five, she saw PETER PAN onstage and was struck with a fever from which she never recovered—stage fever. One day, her passions collided, and an award-winning, bestselling novelist emerged. She believes chocolate and coffee are two of the four major food groups and lives in Sugar Hill, GA, with her artist husband and a rascally Rottweiler. Find Ane on her website, Amazon Author page, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, The Write Conversation, and Blue Ridge Conference Blog.